Letter Of Sponsorship Financial Support Is This A Good Sponsorship Letter?

Is this a good sponsorship letter? - letter of sponsorship financial support

Ladies and Gentlemen,

My name is Carlos Valenzuela, and I am in the second year at McFarland High School. I appreciate your business opportunities for our school is like giving students the McFarland High School can take the PSAT. Paramount Farms is really helping us expand and improve our education through the support of all financial resources, and generosity. Our test results are, and I would really not have been possible without the generous help and support.
My goal in writing this letter is to request a sponsorship for a school in Italy. We will travel with the club in our school in March 2010, and I wish I could see the world and discover other cultures. I intend to get a job in the summer, but the sponsorship is still needed to raise enough money to continue their journey. The tour price is about $ 2500 U.S. dollars. I really appreciate it if his company would sponsor me. Any amount would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again for taking time from your busy day to reamy writing.
If you have any questions, please contact me at (xxx) xxx-xxxx or Contact (xxx) xxx-xxxx.
Yours Truly "


Is that good or I should do something else?
Please give me ideas, and maybe some ideas on how the money --